“A good review from the critics is just another stay of execution.” Dustin Hoffman

My mother has been visiting and she thankfully has been keeping me sane in a week destined to blow my cool as a cucumber austere.  It all began so quietly yesterday.

I received an email that my faculty review was in.  Excited was I because I knew that I had hit this one out of the ball park.

So, I hastily opened my form that gives me my news.  I just knew I had received the coveted Exceeds all Astronomical Projections and Expectations or (EAPE) for short.


I opened my evaluation and see that I was given a Meets Ridiculous Amounts of Expectations (MRAE).  Seriously. I become livid.  All the comments point to a EAPE not a MRAE. So I did what any sensible Southern girl would do.  I call the nimrod that was evaluating me.  BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.

The moronic man that reviewed me was chauvinistic, ridiculous, and unbelievably misguided, “Do you have any idea how arduous the review process is?” To which I NATURALLY respond, “It would be less arduous if you could actually fill the little letters out correctly.”

I go on to explain why the MRAE is completely, utterly, and insanely unacceptable and the reason why I deserve an EAPE and how ridiculously wrong he was.  It was if he was reviewing some other class.  I provide graphs, proof, spreadsheets, and tables created from those spreadsheets.  It is unbearable, and unbelievable to listen to this buffoon try to tap dance around the fact that he completed the review wrong.
And the verdict? (Mr. I-am-smarter-than-you and a jerk did not ever admit to being wrong).  Unfortunately for Mr. IASTY I have the phone numbers for the People that Make Things Happen.  I know these people.  I know their Banana Republic suits and their ability to send emails that cut right through the egos of these peon Mr. IASTYs…I went over his head.

Anyway, the SECOND person I talked to said:

Person in Charge (PIC): “Ugh yes Mr. IASTY is rather difficult, but I can’t do anything until he changes his score.”

Me: “He won’t, but he won’t admit he is wrong.  I have graphs and charts.  I can prove with out a shadow of a doubt that he is W-R-O-N-G” (For those of you that have never met me in the flesh I have an uncanny ability to argue.  I learned it by growing up a superb lawyer’s daughter.  I also am always right.  I could explain how to always be right.  Here is how it goes.  Make sure that you are right before engaging in an argument.  Ensure that you have facts and figures  to back it up before engagement.  This is the best way to always be right.  If you are not 100 percent sure you are right then don’t engage.  Rinse. Repeat. You get the drill).

Pic: “You made graphs and charts?”
Me: “Yes doesn’t everyone?”


PIC: “No wow I am impressed!  I am changing your score in our system post haste.”
Me:  “Whoop Whoop!”
And that is how I got an EAPE on my review.

I will be likely moving this blog.  To those that are followers I will send out the  new URL. :)