Ode to Barrett

You gamboled into my life on December 18, 1998. One short month after my heart had been torn to pieces. I wanted you to help me heal it. You were so fat and precious. The first night I had you I slept in the garage with you because my parents wouldn’t let you sleep in the house. I was home for Christmas vacation, but I knew soon I would be taking you back to Auburn.

You were so smart! You were potty trained as soon as I had you. You were so big and warm. Your dopy smile and curiosity began mending my heart. I started over with you.

I was severely anorexic at the time, and you saved my life. My doctor told me I had to eat enough to be strong enough to feed you every day. So I did. I ate to take care of you. You saved my heart, and in a way you saved my life. Taking care of you became a priority…it shifted my focus from the disease that was killing me. I began to slowly eat. I began to slowly grow. I wanted to be strong for you.

I kept you in a refrigerator box in Auburn. You were so big, and if I didn’t take you to class you would get into everything. You could escape the back yard and everyone in the neighborhood would look out for you and bring you back if you had gotten out.

I moved you from our duplex in Auburn to an apartment in Atlanta. You loved going out on the porch of that apartment. You could bark at cars and growl at people walking by…you were always so mischievous. You were hit by a car one night by a crazed man on drugs. I was consumed with worry, and burning with anger. Thankfully you survived with hardly any damage.

Yet another apartment in Atlanta. You loved the townhouse. You would run your ball upstairs and kick it downstairs playing ball by yourself for hours. You were so funny to watch. The silly games you played…the antics you got up to. You were not allowed on the furniture yet whenever I would leave…you would sleep on the couch. When I would return you would slink into the bathroom…punishing yourself.

You moved to El Paso. You loved your huge yard. You hated the river rock backyard until your feet grew accustomed to them. You slept in your pool. Taking long naps with your head hung over the side. You loved to chase your ball, and hide so you could bark at unsuspecting people that walked on the sidewalk behind the house.

You were so jealous. When Bey came into our lives you tried to stop him. You squished yourself in between our bodies so we could not kiss for the first time. But you grew to love him. You rode in his truck and loved to go places. You swam in the strong currents of the Rio Grande. You didn’t know what to think at first when we bought the Shuggy. We got her for you. I was going back to school and didn’t want you to be lonely.

You loved Mississippi. It was like homecoming to you. The lake in the back yard was right up your alley. You hated that you couldn’t swim when we first moved so you opened the garage and let yourself out to go swim in the lake. You always were a smart dog. How did you learn to open a garage door? You taught the Shuggy to swim. You were so tall you could put your head up on a counter top…you could have swiped food…but you never did you were so polite. You were such a good dog.

I had you for eight and one half years. I got you when I was 21 years old, and you were everything I have ever wanted in a dog. You were loyal, kind, a good protector. You have so many nicknames “The General- because you know where to strategically be to best be underfoot, and also because you always saved your “troops” or your babies from the vacuum cleaner. Barrett, B, the B man, the B guy, guy, Baby Bear, Bear, Bearhead, Oso, the B the B the B, da bear. Your daddy even made up a song to sing to you.

Billy Graham said it…and I believe it. You are in heaven with your baby and your ball. I know you are just waiting for me to take you swimming. I miss and love you. And I will see you again someday. God answered my prayers. You went in your sleep. I didn’t have to make any hard choices about it. I know you would not have wanted me to either. I just miss you is all. I just wanted you to smile that god awful smile at me again. I just wanted to take you to the beach once more. I just wanted you to be ok one more day.

Last Wednesday before you got sick, you played ball and had so much fun. I have that memory cherished. I also have the memory that you popped everyone of Bey’s balloons on his birthday! You loved playing with balloons. Thank you for being such an amazing pet. Thank you for mending my heart and saving my life.

AKC Registered Name

Barrett of Auburn Adams

October 17, 1998 – July 27, 2007

The Hand

I watched the movie the ten commandments the other night. In watching I was a little jealous I mean it is easy for Moses to believe in God’s power. He parted an ocean; he gave him everything. But then God reminded me this morning that He was watching over me too. He got me out of that Ph.D. program; before it blew up in my face. He protected me from the pain and suffering Natalie is going through right now.

I was very down this morning. Yasmine is leaving, and it breaks my heart. Our roses have a disease, and I am afraid they will die, and finally my precious Barrett doesn’t have much longer with us. I know that God is going to move his hand on each of these things that are bothering me. He is going to show me His glory and His face in each of these things in my life. Unfortunately God doesn’t move in my time…He waited until He was ready to move me from the Ph.D. program. And He will wait until His perfect time to move in the things that are making my heart heavy right now.

Happy Harry Potter Weekend!

I attended a Harry Potter party on Friday. I stayed up until 4 AM Saturday reading my book. I am such a nerd I was the VERY first person checked out with the new book! It was SUPER exciting. I woke up on Saturday and finished the book. I won't put any spoilers here but I loved the book. She tied everything up! :) I am a HUGE Harry Potter fan so this was a melancholy weekend for me. I was happy to read the book, but I am sad that it is all over.

We had a great weekend! SD's birthday party was great! She had a nice crowd and of course got lots of nice gifts. We also had a nice roundtable discussion about Harry Potter book 3. SD has been frantically reading the book all weekend so she could participate.

Today we swam and just had a family day. It was an Amazing weekend. Also my dog's health appears to be improving. He is more himself today than he has been for a week!
On that note I am happily going to bed.

Juggling 1000's of glass balls

That is how I feel right now. I am under so much stress I have an eye twitch. I hate eye twitches. They drive me nuts AND I only get them because of stress. My well loved adored Chesapeake Bay Retriever is ill. He may have cancer. He definitely has a stomach flu. The medication we are giving him is turning him into a space cadet. Notice a 90 lb dog that is a space cadet is NOT a good combination. I know there are animal lovers and animal haters etc out there, but this dog has been with me through thick and thin. I love this dog. I am not ready to let him go.

Not to mention the two summer courses I am taking, my own personal health issues, work and other factors. Yikes. I am looking forward to the break. I feel bad for my poor guy. He is family.

I almost cried today when I talked to my DH. He had called everyone in the southeast trying to find Chessie puppies. He was worried the B man might have to be put down or die on his own. He was going to take the day off tomorrow and go get me a puppy. My heart just breaks to know how much he cares. Chessies are hard to find; they are not the most popular dogs. It warms my heart to hear that I have someone that cares so much about me. I am not sure that I would be ready to love another dog. No dog could ever replace this one, but the thought behind the gesture is amazing. I am loved by an amazing man.

D*mn the torpedoes full speed ahead!

Blogging is a wonderfully relaxing way to jot down how I am feeling. Right now I am feeling cozy and well loved. DH gave me roses yesterday. One dozen beautiful long stem pink roses! He sure knows how to make his wife happy!

:) Also we had a great day today! Lot's of family time! We went to Aaron and Samantha's and swam all day. The water was so warm! Everyone had a great time. We played Marco Polo. I got to show off my new French skills! I counted to 20 in French! :P

Titles are back! Yeah! Help Me! Your assignment!

I have a few things to say today. I first am going to show off some pics of my stepdaughter's art! I also have a few cute pics of Vacation that will be forth coming shortly.

The big news is I will be either traveling to Portugal or Buenos Aires in October. I am looking forward to it immensely. I will know more coming up...but I will have to wait for more updates on this!

DH and I are having our 2 year anniversary at the end of July. It is our Cotton Anniversary and we have decided to do the traditional gifts! So I am going to need some ideas for our Cotton Anniversary. I will probably put a poll up on the blog to let everyone vote! I need help finding out what to get him. Today is the 11th so I have a few days to find the perfect gift. I am thinking Q-tips. hehe!


Don't you think this art work is exquisite! I love how creative she is. I hope she finds a job eventually that will allow for an outlet of all those creative juices!
I love the ornament she made for our tree. Christmas has always been a big deal to our family. I hope to use that ornament every year to remind us of this great summer!





This is a sushi plate that she made.
I think it looks FABULOUS! I have a whole set of square dishes from Pottery Barn. I think this will look spectacular for when we are having Thai or Japanese at home!



Signing off for tonight! I have more, but it will have to wait until tomorrow.

Ok weird...it is not letting me put in titles!
I am back and up to no good, obviously.

Some fun stuff happened while I was gone. I had a blast with my family on vacation. It was a well needed rest. The combination of my health problems, my dad's work stress, and my husband's work stress made for a great time just relaxing.

My stepdaughter had a blast. Although I don't think that she was at all used to going on a vacation that was designed for everyone to do NOTHING. We rent a house that is directly in front of the beach. So everyone is welcome to just come and go on the beach at their own personal schedule! Yasmine really liked this as it meant she had some autonomy as far as what she wanted to do. We missed our doggies who had to stay home!

Some interesting vacation notes. We took Yasmine to eat at Lambert’s. She was excited about the rolls that were thrown to her! She loved catching the hot buttered rolls. At first she was kind of scared to catch them, but she quickly caught on and enjoyed it. I also had them tell her happy birthday over the loudspeaker at the restaurant! In the announcement they said “Give her some dollars she saving for college!” It was funny because 15 people came and gave her dollars. She was really excited.

The real estate has just exploded down there. Houses that should be 500k are selling for 1.5 million. If you were driving around down there you wouldn’t believe there was a real estate slump. 

Anyway, it was a great vacation! DH caught TONS of fish. Yasmine got to really relax, and I got to spend time with my dad and mom. We were sad that my sister couldn’t make it. She had to work and could not get away.

Yasmine’s birthday was Sunday! She is 10 years old. I didn’t meet Yasmine until she was 5. So I have officially known her more than half her life now. That is exciting for me in and of itself. To let you know how excited I am Yasmine…Happy Birthday!!!!!!!!


Whenever I meet new people I show them pictures that her daddy took of us when she was five. I always tell them “Here are the newborn baby pictures of when I first got Yasmine!” It is a silly joke, but I like it. 

One thing I have noticed this summer is Yasmine doesn’t sleep late anymore. She used to sleep forever. Now she doesn’t. She gets up whenever someone else does. This can be bad because she stays up late with her daddy and me. The combination of staying up late and getting up early can make for a grumpy kid!

Now that I am officially out of my old department and into my new department I feel so much better. I had my first class yesterday, and I was so excited. The professor was nice KIND even. He promised to mentor me. It was an exciting feeling. I can’t describe how much I am looking forward to this. I was hesitant to make the change unsure of what I should and would be doing. But actually doing it, and going through with it was really exhilarating.

I guess I am just going to be honest here. I don’t want Yasmine to go home. I know she has a great life in Arizona. She is one spoiled kid all around. She has people that love her in Arizona, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, California, New Mexico, Texas, Florida, and Pennsylvania. That is awfully fortunate for one little kid. I look forward to our summers together all year. They get here and fly by so quickly. Then I have to wait 10 more months for them to come around again. Don’t get me wrong…I am not one of those conceited people that believe Yasmine would be better off with us than her mother. I do not mean I or we want to take her away from Arizona. She has a great life in Arizona. She is well loved, and well cared for in Phoenix. In fact I firmly believe children should in almost all cases be with their mother. This has nothing to do with Phoenix. It has to do with her father and me. We love her, and miss her when she is gone. It is heartbreaking putting her on the plane at the end of summer, and knowing we won’t have her with us for that long period again for 10 months. I know that her mother and stepfather feel the same way when she is gone over the summer. But I have to stop worrying about this now. I have her for another month before she goes home. There is no sense in borrowing trouble from tomorrow.

The Weather is Here I Wish You Were Beatiful

Jimmy Buffet is from Alabama! :) I am an admitted parrot head. I have suspended blogging until I get home from my trip with my family! We are having a wonderful time, and I will post pictures.

I am going to be back around Saturday or Sunday.