UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

We have an offer on the house. Good pricing, but one tiny issue. We also made an offer on a house in Phoenix today. I will keep you posted...on all further housing developments.

“I have left orders to be awakened at any time in case of national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.” Ronald Reagan

I am home sick. Handsome man is home sick. He lays in bed all day whimpering about how sick he is...I spend all my time taking care of him. No wonder I am not getting better.

SO here is the recap of my phone conference yesterday...I rarely get to have this much fun in meetings.

Some one did not put their phone on mute...
Person in background's kid "I hate you. You suck."
Kid: I hate you so much. You suck.
Person on Call: You shut up. You just shut the h&ll up.
Kid: You suck so much. I hate you.
Then you can hear the person beating the kid.
Person on the call: you can get the H*ll out. Get the h*ll out of this house.
Kid: Fine you suck. I hate you. I am f-bomb leaving. Give me the keys.
Person on the call: No you just walk. You get out.
Person running the meeting: Please put your phone on mute. Kindly put your phone on mute.
Me: Laughing so hard I have to put MY phone on Mute.


Beating your kid AND participating on a conference call...now that is seriously multitasking. Snicker.

Life is too short to sleep on low thread-count sheets. ~Leah Stussy

My husband has a sinus infection. It isn't the Swine Flu I asked him millions of questions about it. Last night I finished all my work at 4 PM. When Bey returned home from work I loaded him up with Benadryl and Nyquil, thus insuring I had the whole evening to myself. I spent a large chunk of time talking to my friends on the phone...planning my summer...devising a strategy to make her cheating ex-husband pay.

After all that talking, and fraternizing...I was not ready to go to sleep when I should. So I popped an Ambien. I know better. I know that when I take Ambien I have to LAY down. TURN. MY. MIND. OFF.

Anyway, I thought it would be a great idea to email all the senators and representatives in IPGZona and discuss how they should change the name of the state. Really I don't think they should have their email addresses readily available to the hoi polloi to just let them email things willy nilly.

Today I have to be on a conference call that requires the computer. I am hooking up my second laptop side by side so that I can NOT ONLY be on my call but also working the New York Times crossword OR working on my dissertation. Today...the NYT crossword...tomorrow the world. :)

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STOP READING HERE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT MY JOB

So I got an email this morning looking for professors to teach "World Religion." I sent an email back saying I have academic preparation via approximately 1500 times attending Sunday School. I have not heard back....maybe that is not the academic preparation they were looking for...:)

PSA for a few of my lovely students...most of you are fantastic...

• I have a few students this term that are trying my patience. Here is a tip fair students...if say an assignment is due on Sunday, and let's pretend you turn it in on Tuesday morning, also known as, two days late. Then it is inappropriate to send me an email on Tuesday at lunch questioning me on when your grade will be ready.
• When I set up special office hours that I am available live for you to meet and talk to you...that are not required for me to do, but I am doing because I like my job, and honestly want to help. Please do not send me emails saying you are getting your hair done, and that is inconvienent for you.
• I don't mind if you find and add me of Facebook, but keep in mind our relationship is never going to be the same if I see pictures of you doing a beer bong or vomiting. Also your future employers might not think those are quite as funny.
• Why am I getting 50,000 emails about stuff that is clearly covered in the syllabus? Why? The only kinds of emails I like to see are ones that either say "You still have time to order before Mother's Day." Good catch, Nambe, I had forgotten all about Mother's Day. Or the kind that says "This is hysterical" and includes some youtube video I missed. If the email is to just chat...fine...if not ask in the classroom.

My Blackberry went berserk this morning at about 4 AM. It appears one of the places I work all the emails that were in the inbox were being redelivered. I had 456 new emails. At first I was excited. Then I realized I was not that popular it was just some weird phone glitch. I put the phone on silent and went back to sleep. When I woke back up...the redelivered messages had magically disappeared.
:D

I love being an aunt!

Ignore my makeupless face. Enjoy the adorable Sara. I love her hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Doesn't she look like she belongs in a magazine? Um...and could I have any less eyebrows?

"Being frightened is an experience you can't buy." Anthony Price

In case you are wondering this is the map of where the swine flu has broken out. Notice how close it is getting to IPGzona. I hope that the swine flu stays away from Phoenix. I have an SD there and I don't want her sick.

If you click on the map it will allow you to watch a real time map of cases in the US where the swine flu has hit.

Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. Carl Jung

It is amazing what some improved weather, a heart to heart with your spouse, and some time spent in the company of good friends can do for your attitude. I guess I should also mention I turned all my anxiety over to God. It is crazy how I forget to do that. But I do.

Friday night I spent some time with my neighbor and my husband. Lately I have been having this niggling thought...if I believed in reincarnation....my past life must have been ultra crap. I must have been one sad dung beetle in the past to deserve such a wonderful spouse. Now don't misunderstand...he has needed some training, and we have come a very long way in our 6 years together. I bascially sat him down and said, "Lisent up, Bebe I never never never ask anything from you. I am happy to just soldier along. And normally I am happy as a lark, cher." Why I slipped into a cajun accent I am unsure. "But and I know these are scary words for you, but I need you."

Bey listened. Gave suggestions. Helped me plan to take over the world. Bought flowers (for the inside and out). And this is cute...he bought me the above terrarium... Edit Edit Edit draw your own conclusions...if I say anything more I will sound ungrateful. Bey is very sensitive about this sort of thing as well.* But I said thank you. And I am just gracious that he GOT IT (me needing him...not the terrarium).

Oh in other news...the fact that not only does my phone take pictures but also allows you to immediately upload them to Facebook...probably not its best feature. :D


* For our anniversary last year I got a Coach bag. A nice Coach bag if you like BROWN. I don't. I have blond hair and fair skin. I look terrible in brown and never wear it. Why he and SD thought I would like a brown Coach bag I will never know. I guess I was not enthusiastic enough about it. However an argument about whether or not I am a spoiled rotten brat ensued. So from now on I am gracious about all my gifts. Because I know they came from the heart.

From the outside looking in you can never understand it. From the inside looking out you can never explain it. Sorority Quote

I had a sorority impromptu reunion last night. A friend of mine's husband is in Iraq, and she has been living in Alabama for a year now. So we decided to get together in Montgomery before her man gets home, and I move to Phoenix. Apparently last night I started calling Arizona...IPGZona (with my real name substituted for IPG...)...(yes I am that self centered). This morphed into a celebration of another friend's birthday, and meeting up with another sorority sister. The night was awesome! Just enough nostalgic cheesiness....the perfect amount of conversation. Here is how the evening went.

Squeal...Hug....Squeal...Hug Hug...Squeal
"The necklace..."
"The Strutting Duck"
"The trash can"
"That guy you dated that we all hated..."
"That guy YOU dated that we all hated..."
"Do you remember that guy?"
"Auburn"
"Football"
"Having so and so's dad kicked out of the stadium...."

And on and on. It was great. We got to talk and remember some of my most cherished memories at Auburn. To my dear sister's and friend's credit they included my husband in every conversation explaining to him as much back story as the memory required.

In this particular group of friends me and my friend's brother were always called the babies. It is practically pathetic that the "babies" are now both in their 30's. At one point during the night we realized that very few of the stories we were relating even occurred during this decade.

However like all good nights out....two great new stories happened. First of all when we were changing venues from one place to the next some kid yelled at my husband (who was escorting 3 girls at the time), "That dude is with all 3 of them girls. He is a pimp!" Yes honey you are. :)

Some man fell "asleep" (read passed out) in his chair last night. Being the kind souls we are we did not hesitate to help...er take pictures or ourselves throwing gang signs next to him. At some point before security escorted him out some guy came up, and said, "Are you ok? Did you have too much to drink?" to the gentlemen asleep in the chair. I said to my friends in my mock sotto voice..."Obviously he hasn't had too much to drink. People routinely fall asleep in loud crowded restaurants on Saturday nights with bands playing. I am sure it is just narcolepsy." This little comment earned me a dirty look from Mr. Good Samaritan.

If it is your time, love will track you down like a cruise missile. -Lynda Barry

Lots going on...nothing going on in the dissertation front. I have reached a dissertation front funk if you will. I will start writing again. May 1st is that particular D-Day...now I am slurping down books as if I am never going to be allowed to read again. :D

For Christmas this year I was given a Kindle 2, and it is with out a doubt one of the best presents I have ever been given. I love it so much! I am a big reader so now rather than having 1,000 books laying around in various stages of reading...I have them all on my lovely Kindle reader. Also I can read the kind of trash I secretly love to read like "Bitter is the New Black", and pretend I am reading high brow intellectual drivel such as "MIS Quarterly." The Kindle also sparks conversations with strangers whenever I go anywhere...which is on occasion entertaining.

Last night I got to meet Mike Huckabee. I got to shake his hand and gush about how he was my candidate. Here is a pic of IPG and the Huck. There is actually a better one...where he actually is smiling towards me, but it is on my husband's Iphone.

I was particularly moved by some of his answers to the questions the audience raised. I am so happy that I got to attend this special event. So Huckabee 2012!!!!


And finally to my darling Bey...you keep putting up with this sobbing mess that used to be your competent wife. I promise I will find that gregarious girl again for you. But just so you know...I would marry you again honey...even if my daddy wasn't paying. ;)

The Constitution only guarantees the American people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. ~Benjamin Franklin

As I have blogged about lately...I have been sort of depressed. The weather though is fantastic. In an effort to cheer IPG up the long suffering Bey asked her a question that every girl dreams about. It is the question that could bring a smile to even the most downtrodden curmudgeon.

He asked....

"Do you want to go skiing this weekend?"

That has got to be the most exciting question in the English language. Bring on Saturday!

“Without deep reflection one knows from daily life that one exists for other people .” Einstein

I want to relate an old story. I mostly want to relate this because I have gone temporarily insane. This temporary insanity is so obnoxious that I feel the need to think back to some calming memories.

Once I got back from my honeymoon (which was in San Pedro, Belize). I asked my main man what was the color of the ocean in front of our suite. The ocean covers 72% of the earth's surface, but during our honeymoon my husband was so large in my eyes I could not remember that breathtaking view. At that time to me he was larger than three quarters of the earth.

When I have days like today, where I am impatient, and agonizing and I need something bigger than me...I reflect back on that time. His answer if you care was "not nearly as beautiful as your blue eyes."

There are 6.7 billion people on the planet...I am so lucky that I found my one.

Some random thoughts

OK...so...I have this friend and she I were talking a few weeks ago. She mentioned to me, "If you and your husband have all this time to go back to school then maybe you should think of having children." As you know, gentle reader, I have been on the fence about this baby idea.

I woke up 2 days ago with the urge. I want to have Bey's baby. I am not longer divided. I am no longer not sure one way or the other. I am with out a doubt on board. The baby train is pulling out of the station, and this time...I got on.

I just realized that if anything ever happens to Bey I want something from him that I will always have. I also want to make him happy. I can't believe it. I am actually excited.

Bey is a meany.....

Three Beyisms today....

1. It is nice to see you with make up on your face. (I will admit I haven't worn any in that last week or so. Except to church, and I frequently don't wear makeup. But when we were dating he told me I had natural beauty. ;) ...fyi this is all being relayed in good fun.
2. I like that red lipstick you are wearing...it makes you look like a street walker. I like it.
   
3. Those are some great shoes IPG. I think a house might fall on your head. They are the really pointy kind. (So do you think he was referring to the pointy shoes looking like witch shoes or my attitude?) LOL

Never a dull moment over at the casa of IPG. They are showing the house 2 times tomorrow. That is the 4th time this week.

Dating your ex is like going to your own garage sale and buying back your old, broken, useless crap! IPG

Sorry quick personal message to one of my best friends. I love you hon. But this quote sums up how I feel about him.

They have been showing my house up a storm. I keep hoping that any day now I am going to get the perfect offer. Everyone cross your fingers. I want the house sold.


I have been running my statistics, but am waiting for my new software to ship. It only cost about 400 bucks. That is a nice expensive piece of software that I had to buy. Loving it. :(

The days are getting longer and the weather nicer. It finally feels like spring.

I want to do to you what spring does with the cherry trees. Pablo Neruda

I love the days in the spring. Summer has not rushed in yet to Mississippi. It smells divine all cut grass and sunshine. The otter has been active in the lake. It is impossible to feel bad on a day like today. One fantastic thing is that by moving to Phoenix I will be chasing the sunshine. I can feel like this everyday.

My mom and I have been enjoying our visit. The ability to chit chat and have fun discussing some of our common interest has been divine. Additionally I am pleased that she got to see the house in its real estate ready condition. The house really does look amazing.

I always enjoy cooking for my mom. She doesn't think she is a picky eater but she is. But I like cooking for her because it feels like I am giving back so to speak. For all the 1000's of meals she cooked for me. One of my favorite ways to tell someone I love them is by cooking for them. I am a good cook, and I like sharing my skills. Whether or not I make something complicated, I still feel like making dinner is one of the best ways to say I love you.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. Oscar Wilde

My mom is here visiting. She is closing on her home in Atlanta so did an Open Jaw kind of thing to go here then Atlanta. We are going to have a great weekend. Jerry Rice is here in town, and the handsome Bey is going to get his autograph.

Working on the stats these past few weeks has been like pulling teeth. Work has been progressing fantastic. Have a Happy Easter!

God grant me the patience and I want it RIGHT NOW- IPG

I want a house I like to come on the market in Phoenix and my house to sell. On the same day preferably oh and if I could get my dissertation finished that would ROCK. I have my data collected I really should be running stats on it right now. If you guessed that I have not begun that arduous process yet you win more than a gold star.

Life is a quest and love a quarrel. Edna St. Vincent Millay

When I argue...especially when I argue with my spouse I really like to win. I think I have a pretty high success rate there. But what really makes a good argument is the perfect selection of verbiage delivered with the ideal sense of drama. I also like having the last word. That is why I am sure you will agree that I really drove my point home today.

The long suffering Bey and I were arguing. He said, "Blah blah blah. Stuck in this student mindset. Blah blah blah. Something or other. You don't even act like an adult."
And I replied with this zinger, "Do too." and stuck my tongue out.

We both of course collapsed into giggles. And then we made up. So in a sense we both won.

So I am 4 Days Late...

I promised to review my resolutions each quarter...to see how I was doing. That was due on April 1. Since today is April 5th...that makes me late. Here goes...the resolution review.

2009 Resolutions

1.) Finish my Ph. D. there are no negotiations on this one. 2009 is my year.
I proposed on February 26, 2009. I am collecting data now, and I am all on target for an August Graduation. This resolution is not done, but I am completely pleased with the progress here.


2.) Figure out what it is going to take for me to get happy and do it.
I have finally come to peace with moving. That has made me very happy. Also getting closer to my Ph. D. has helped. Finally getting through the winter has been an enormous help. I hate the grey days I have to put up with down south during January and February. At least once we move to Arizona I won't have to deal with the grey days any longer. I am not calling this resolution done, but giving myself significant progress.

3.) Move to Phoenix by summer.
House is on the market. I have quotes for moving. Almost everything is packed. We literally can not throw a dinner party unless everyone wants to eat on paper plates. And my china and crystal. Packed. No fancy dinner parties here. Not finished, but significant progress here too.

4.) Be nicer to my handsome husband Bey. Complete
I am calling this one done. It is amazing how easy it is to be nice when the stress of my proposal has been taken off my back. I am doing more wifely duties and picking up some slack around the house. I also have been a better cook and quite a bit more attentive.

5.) Be a better daughter.
Ugh I am not doing a very good job here. My parents are getting on all of my nerves. It is not entirely their fault, but they really really really are opposing this move to Phoenix. I know it is because they want us closer to them. I think it will make it easier for them when the move actually happens. Then it will be something that is done...not something that in their mind might not happen. At any rate, their opposition to this move has caused some lively discussions at the home of IPG, and between my parents and I.

6.) Write my thank you note immediately rather than putting them off for 2 weeks. Complete
Nothing to say here really. I have been doing a great job of this. Enough said.

7.) Stop saying “right” all the time when what I really mean is “I am not listening.”
I am doing horrible at this. I say right all the time. And it almost always means I am not listening. Or even worse I over use "right right." What that translates into is that I have not heard a word. ...

Obsession they name is IPG

So I have been obsessed with finding the PERFECT house in Phoenix. I should start billing hours to myself about it. Really.

I have found THE PERFECT neighborhood, and found THE HOUSE. Then it sold, but the neighborhood is still on my radar. Anyway, last night I had a dream that my boyfriend from Atlanta (long time ago…hehe) was talking to me about shopping for houses in Phoenix and I was explaining to him about my neighborhood. This is how obsessed with moving I have become. I am so obsessed I am dreaming about explaining the relative cost differences between moving ourselves and paying movers to a guy I dated in 1999/2000. …The difference is less than 500 dollars in case you are curious.

The great question -- which I have not been able to answer -- is, "What does a woman want?" Sigmund Freud

Everything. I want everything. haha

So I was packing up some stuff today. Sensing a theme here? ;) And I came across my wedding dress. I am not a sentimental person about things. So I was trying to figure out what I was going to do with this masterpiece of silk and bead wonder. My mom saved her wedding dress for my sister or I to wear. My mom is 5'2" and weighs maybe 98 lbs. I am taller and have longer arms than my mom. (Her dress is long sleeved). I outgrew her dress in the shoulders and the chest at 16. My sister is taller although lankier than I am. Plus I don't have a daughter.

The Audrey Hepburn dress that inspired my wedding dress design

SD might like my dress. But I am quite a bit more well endowed up top than SD is going to be. I also have no hips to speak of...a disease SD won't suffer from. Since the wedding gown is a strapless sheath these might pose some problems. After a good deal of pondering I decided to donate my gown. It was a custom gown and hand made. Fit me fantastically, and is amazingly beautiful. I hope that it makes some bride very very happy. I did save my hand made Italian silk royal cathedral length veil. Perhaps when SD gets married it can be her something old.


They don't call me a spreadsheet queen for nothing. I can figure out the TCO (total cost of ownership) and a what if analysis for you in 30 seconds flat. It is going to cost us....guess how much to move ourselves. If you guessed 6k here is your cash and prices. On second thought after that I have no cash. How about a sticker? I am getting quotes from moving companies this week. One would think this is because we have 3 cars and a boat. (Don't get impressed our youngest car is 6 years old and our oldest 20). But it is not the cars and the boat it is renting the trucks and the gas required.

We were selling our truck. We had a buyer with cash in hand, and decided to keep it. Here are several reasons why...1.) I don't want to buy a new car right now...I am in buying a new house right now mode. 2.) We don't need a new vehicle right now. Our truck is perfectly fine. and.........drum roll please 3.) We have decided to give this truck to SD when she starts driving.

I know she isn't going to be happy. But her daddy is a skilled painter and can paint it whatever color she wants. Most kids wreck their first car. So she is welcome to wreck this truck. The truck is 6 years old with 50k miles. When she turns 16 it will be 10 years old with hardly many more miles than that. It is better than NO car when you turn 16. Wow in 4 years I am going to have a kid that can drive. I don't feel old enough. Anyway, SD stop talking crap about the truck. Cause honey it is yours. :D

Why?

Why do I only crave breakfast at 10:45 when they are no longer serving it?
In other news....

My house is officially in the MLS and everything. Should I put pics up here? Click on the word house to go check it out elswhere.
I had a little pity party for myself thinking of all the things and people I am going to miss when I leave Mississippi. Also having a lengthy discussion with my handsome fella I figured out how we were going to get a houseful of furniture, three trucks and a boat to Phoenix. HINT: We need an extra driver or maybe 2. :D

I quit a job on Friday. I had just had ENOUGH. I am feeling relieved now. The relief has finally replaced the anger.