Please call me Doctor

We were discussing in a group meeting today how insufferable new Ph. D.'s are! And I admitted I am going to be one of the worst. Not really...ok maybe just a little. :) In the course of our discussion I teased, "When I finish my Ph.D. I won't answer to anything but Doctor. Not even Dr. Adams...just Dr. hehe" Of course I am teasing. I like teasing my husband about it! Actually he teases me too...I won't say...but if you know him...you know that is is naughty teasing. :)

I have also decided to be super efficient so I am going to send an email out to all my students with this handy list. They can just pick a number for their fallacious argument for why their assignments are late. This way I don't have to read mountains and mountains of excuses. They can just send me an email with a number. Like this,

"Dear Professor IPG,

5.

Sincerely,
John Q. Student"

That saves lots of time. More efficient! I suggest everyone adding this list of fallacious arguments for late work to their syllabus. (Oh P.S. as a bonus all are linked to the fallacious arguments page for quick look up)!

1. Ad Hominem (Argument To The Man)
2. Affirming The Consequent
3. Amazing Familiarity
4. Ambiguous Assertion
5. Appeal To Anonymous Authority
6. Appeal To Authority
7. Appeal To Coincidence
8. Appeal To Complexity
9. Appeal To False Authority
10. Appeal To Force
11. Appeal To Pity (Appeal to Sympathy, The Galileo Argument)
12. Appeal To Widespread Belief (Bandwagon Argument, Peer Pressure, Appeal To Common Practice)
13. Argument By Emotive Language (Appeal To The People)
14. Argument By Fast Talking
15. Argument By Generalization
16. Argument By Gibberish (Bafflement)
17. Argument By Half Truth (Suppressed Evidence)
18. Argument By Laziness (Argument By Uninformed Opinion)
19. Argument By Personal Charm
20. Argument By Pigheadedness (Doggedness)
21. Argument By Poetic Language
22. Argument By Prestigious Jargon
23. Argument By Question
24. Argument By Repetition (Argument Ad Nauseam)
25. Argument by Rhetorical Question
26. Argument By Scenario
27. Argument By Selective Observation
28. Argument By Selective Reading
29. Argument By Slogan
30. Argument From Adverse Consequences (Appeal To Fear, Scare Tactics)
31. Argument From Age (Wisdom of the Ancients)
32. Argument From Authority
33. Argument From False Authority
34. Argument From Small Numbers
35. Argument From Spurious Similarity
36. Argument Of The Beard
37. Argument To The Future
38. Bad Analogy
39. Begging The Question (Assuming The Answer, Tautology)
40. Burden Of Proof
41. Causal Reductionism (Complex Cause)
42. Changing The Subject (Digression, Red Herring, Misdirection, False Emphasis)
43. Cliche Thinking
44. Common Sense
45. Complex Question (Tying)
46. Confusing Correlation And Causation
47. Disproof By Fallacy
48. Equivocation
49. Error Of Fact
50. Euphemism
51. Exception That Proves The Rule
52. Excluded Middle (False Dichotomy, Faulty Dilemma, Bifurcation)
53. Extended Analogy
54. Failure To State
55. Fallacy Of Composition
56. Fallacy Of Division
57. Fallacy Of The General Rule
58. Fallacy Of The Crucial Experiment
59. False Cause
60. False Compromise
61. Genetic Fallacy (Fallacy of Origins, Fallacy of Virtue)
62. Having Your Cake (Failure To Assert, or Diminished Claim)
63. Hypothesis Contrary To Fact
64. Inconsistency
65. Inflation Of Conflict
66. Internal Contradiction
67. Least Plausible Hypothesis
68. Lies
69. Meaningless Questions
70. Misunderstanding The Nature Of Statistics
71. Moving The Goalposts (Raising The Bar, Argument By Demanding Impossible Perfection)
72. Needling
73. Non Sequitur
74. Not Invented Here
75. Outdated Information
76. Pious Fraud
77. Poisoning The Wells
78. Psychogenetic Fallacy
79. Reductio Ad Absurdum
80. Reductive Fallacy (Oversimplification)
81. Reifying
82. Short Term Versus Long Term
83. Slippery Slope Fallacy (Camel's Nose)
84. Special Pleading (Stacking The Deck)
85. Statement Of Conversion
86. Stolen Concept
87. Straw Man (Fallacy Of Extension)
88. Two Wrongs Make A Right (Tu Quoque, You Too)
89. Weasel Wording

Please note I am merely being funny here. :) I just have read about 4000 emails on why assignments are late. :)