"I am a good friend to my husband. I have tried to make my marriage vows mean what they say. I show up. I listen. I try to laugh." - Anna Quindlen

There are two types of couples. This is something I postulate. One type of couple fights and nit picks at one another all the time. They might have anywhere between 1 and 70 fights a week. None of these fights is big they are all about small things, but they fight often.

Then there is the other type of couple. This type of couple fights infrequently. Their fights are rare. However when this type of couple it is NASTY. WWII fighting.

A friend of mine reminded me that there are 2 other types of couples. There is the type of couple that never fights (but constantly wage a silent passive aggressive war on one another). I am not ever silent even while asleep so I have never been involved in one of these.

The final type is the kind of couple that fight alot and have great big rows. I HAVE been in one of these horrible relationships. I forgot about this type of relationship. Thank goodness I outgrew bad boys.

The kind of relationship my marriage is would be the second. My husband and I get along fabulously like 96% of the time. We have approximately 3 fights a year and they are usually doozies. I guess to be more REAL more Organic as it were we fight 4 times a year. We will go literally 2-3 months with not a cross word between us. However this weekend we were due. I am still sick...I am probably going to die...I just seem to get worse.

Anyway, I needed some help doing a little research. I asked him for some help and he instead of helping made some smart comment to me. Well I just lost it. I admit I over reacted. I know this. I am not denying that one bit. I will admit a few things.

First of all, I am for the most part nice. I am like a 95 percent nice person a really really nice person, which means I get an A. However that other 5 percent is pure evil. I always see the best in everyone. I am always willing to look for redeeming qualities in EVERYONE I meet. But this evil side of me only comes out when I am angry.

When I get into an argument I want to win, and I go nuts. I will say or do whatever it takes to completely win an argument. It is not good enough to win. I have to annihilate the opponent. My dad is an attorney so I am very practiced at this. I spent my entire teenage life with a professional arguer. :) I can play semantic gymnastics all day. My husband can not stand this. He doesn't think arguments should be fought this way.

I will attack the person. Such as, "Well I wouldn't have to act like that if you were not just taking up air and wasting everyone else's space." I will muddy the water, "Oh yeah well last year when we were in Paris, and you said that you would hold on to the passports, I had to hold on to them, and so that is why you are wrong." I will get quiet, and not speak for hours at a time. I will shout over what you have to say. I will leave the argument. I will try to make you leave. I will use sarcasm. I will bring up something that I know bothers you and call it out "Well maybe if you had normal sized ears you would have heard me." I will cry, pout, act stupid, scream, hum, go silent, call names, threaten to tell your mother, threaten to tell my mother, whatever it takes to win normally.

I was in a diminished capacity today. Because I am sick as mentioned above. Typically I wouldn't have even paid attention to that silly smart comment. Today though was different. I got mad, and I stormed out of the study. I am all about dramatic exits. I slammed the study door. Then I barged back in and demanded he leave the office since I needed to work on our taxes (I was soo not going to work on taxes...just trying to be annoying). He obviously saw that I was just being annoying and started in on me that I was working too hard. That we needed to spend more time together. I was having none of it. So the argument went down like this:
Me: I am not going to put up with this. I am sick of this. Your face makes me sick.
H: OMG not this again.
Me: You keep it up and we are going to be talking like this all evening. I know how much you love those kinds of talks. I will make sure it is full of all kinds of stuff that YOU have to do.
H: Look I didn't mean anything by it...I don't want to fight.
Me: (I ignored this because I wasn't done). Then I proceeded to filibuster about my feelings for the next 20 minutes.
H: You are absolutely right. You are sick. I should have cut you some slack. I apologize. Do you want some hot tea?

So that was it. Cause I could hardly argue with that. (Actually I could have...I could have pulled the feminist card "You think I can't make my own Tea?", but I know a victory when I see one. And with the first argument of 2008 under our belts and about 45 minutes of our day wasted. We should be good until May or June. ;)