This is bad. This is a bad scene. I am so down about writing my dissertation I don't even want to post on my blog. This writing is killing me. For crying out loud I have spent more time of Facebook these last 2 weeks than I have the entire time I have been a member, and I have been on Facebook for almost FOUR YEARS. I am sick of this! I am ready to cry tonight. But crying seems like it is just another big fat waste of time. I have tried to talk to Hubby about this. His belief in me makes it worse. Why have I spent so much time convincing him I am superwoman when clearly I can be reduced to drivel by the word dissertation? In fact I have been putting off everything else so paralyzed am I about all this I can't even get all my other crap done. Even stuff I like doing I can not do. It is muy ridiculoso! Here is an example of how unmotivated and ridiculous I am. I watched Snakes on a Plane today. It doesn't matter that I hate watching movies…that I never watch television in the middle of the day…that I thought this movie would be so stupid. Hubby mentioned to me today that I don't appear to be tuned in, and he is right. I haven't called SD…I don't talk to my friends…I spend all my time worrying incessantly about this stupid dissertation.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
"We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?" Niels Bohr
Posted by IPG at 7:52 PM
Labels: Marriage, Ph D Student
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4 Mad Ramblings:
You have a lot on your mind right now. One thing is taking precedence over the other. One is capturing your imagination and your heart and the other side of you resents that.
Give yourself permission to enjoy whatever captures you. Give yourself permission to push aside the other temporarily.
If you don't want to do it right now, then focus on the other for now. There will always be time to catch up with enthusiasm on what you can't get motivated to do now.
Cryptic, I know. But you can fill in the blanks :-) Two important events in your life that will each change your life in different ways. Don't try to rationalize it. Just go with your heart and then don't feel guilty.
That's what I did -- different situations but eventually I made a choice. And I've been happy with it as will you.
vp
VP thanks so much. :)
I really really needed to hear that.
I keep beating myself up, and it just really isn't my scene to do that.
You can do it, A!
I agree with VP. Follow your heart. Do what is right for you. Take baby steps and give yourself a break.
We're pulling for ya.
S
VP is right! Sometimes the world rocks you and sometimes you rock the world! Either way - it's your heart that keeps the beat. 3
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