“Secrets are things we give to others to keep for us.” Elbert Hubbard

I have had an awful lot going on lately. However most of it can't be shared on the blog…some secrets I guess. No I am not pregnant yet or anything like that. I haven't been keeping big secrets, but they are secrets I can't really discuss. This has made the whole blog feel less organic, and I dislike feeling that way. So I am going to share some of the things I feel comfortable discussing.

Bey might be moving to Phoenix sooner than anticipated. He also might be moving without me. Everything is still punchy …no trouble in paradise here. It is just an opportunity presented itself that is undeniably too good to pass up if it comes to fruition. So my sweet Bey will be leaving me in lonely Starkville. I will be responsible for finishing this dissertation…getting the house ready to sell…selling the house etc. We might just go ahead and get the house ready to sell, and then I will just rent an apartment here. I am going to move close to some friends of ours so they can make sure I am ok.

Here is what I think about that whole plan.

1.) I don't really like being left by myself, and I am going to miss Bey terribly. However I will get SOOOOOOOOOOO much more work on my dissertation done, and will be able to work without ceasing.

2.) It is impossible to leave until the dissertation is done. Fin! I know several Ph.D. students leave once they have proposed, but I am going to stay until I am done. I guess then I will move to Phoenix, and come back here to be frocked. (Which is slang for what happens when you are conferred your Ph.D. at graduation). Plus I love saying it because it just sounds naughty.

3.) When I live by myself I have a tendency to slide to workaholicism. I will have to work carefully to avoid that.

4.) Because I work from home I will be able to sort of split my time say 2 weeks or so in Phoenix to 2 weeks in Starkville.

5.) Also because of this new development all plans to procreate have been put to a stop. I can't imagine trying to do all I have to do anyway while being pregnant…by myself. Also Phoenix is so very very far Bey might not be able to get back here in time if something did happen.

Bey's ex-wife, who I consider an expert in all things mother, because she has 3 healthy children… and that makes her at least 300 times more experienced than me; completely agrees with me on this point. And a few other of my girlfriends are on my side as well. She-Ra I am not. If I dissolve into a whimpering mess when I am pregnant I don't want to have to do it along. By god the man that got me there is going down too.

I have been asked specifically by Bey not to go into any details about any of this because he doesn't want me to "jinx" it for him. So I have really said all I can say.

Lately tons of people I went to high school are contacting me on Facebook. I find this amusing as I didn't talk to these people when I was in high school. I didn't bother to go to my 10 year reunion. One reason being my ex before I married the incredible Bey and I went to high school together. We had not been broken up for very long when it was time for my high school reunion. At any rate, I didn't go. I was also getting married, starting a Ph.D. and moving across the country at the time. I like finding people on Facebook that I have legitimately lost and would like to find again. I have had several unfortunate cell phone events where I don't keep backups of my phone numbers, and basically lose people because I lost my phone, and changed emails. Or I got careless and failed to call them back one too many times for their taste.

I have actually made some progress on my dissertation. For anyone working on my dissertation the most frustrating thing I have found is formatting it right the first time. I am a firm believer in doing something right the first time so I don't have to fix it later. However I really have had a hard time doing STUPID things like perfectly Triple Spacing a heading. This adds to my frustration. It causes me to seek out librarians early on Saturday mornings. I am for the first time ever I think using the library for its intended purpose.

It also makes me wonder whether or not I should hire someone to just format the stupid paper. I hate formatting. Not that it is a waste of my time, but it just seems to steal my soul. It sucks the will to write completely out of me. Unbelievable as that might sound. (I can be a drama queen).